Sunday, 10 October 2010

Become An Animal Lover

That's right!

Sure, women today like a man who's cultured. Who is sensitive.

Who... heck... isn't afraid to cry at sad movies every once and a while.

But that's not all.

They want a man who's in touch... with his wild side!

Look, as much as we modern folk try to fight the idea, women are subconsciously attracted to the beast that lurks inside us.

And the best way to signal that is by these seemingly innocuous opening lines:

"Gosh, I sure do miss my old dog, Skippy. When I get a house out in the country, I'm going to own a whole pack of wolf hounds."

"You know that guy, Timothy Treadwell? The guy who lived up in Alaska with the grizzlies, out on the tundra for months on end? The one Werner Herzog made that movie about? Well, sure he got ripped apart by them in the end, but... MAN, I want to be that guy!"

"I work in a pet store."

Sure, it's a subtle.... Like two-thousand-pound charging rhino out on the veldt!

Believe me, if you also occasionally throw in a few gutteral growls, or crazily paw at the air, in the manner of a caged lion, your deal will be sealed.

And one last tip...

If you're going out to the bars, put on your old Boy Scout uniform. (Yeah - I know what you're thinking. But believe me. It WORKS. Ain't nothing like an Eagle badge for impressing the fillies.)

Now, head on out to the zoo... and let's get cracking!

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