Sunday, 21 February 2010

Don't Shower

You heard me.

I know that sounds a little "out there" but rest assured, my friend, there is method in that so-called madness.

You see, when you take a shower or a bath, you wash away those valuable women-attacting pheromones you've accumulated on your skin all day.

So when you think you're getting rid of sweat and dirt, what you're really doing is getting rid of your "secret weapon."

Sure, your friends might laugh at you at first. Your family and employer may look upon you disdainfully.

But when you stagger home in the morning from yet one more successful date, with a Blackberry crammed with numbers from beautiful women you met on the street, those smiles are going to "turn upside down."

(As for doing laundry, do I really have to add that's a no-no? Those quarters you save will come in handy with all those dinners you're buying.... But no! They won't! Women will be buying YOU dinner!)

You think I'm wrong? Just read a little history. What about Rasputin and the scores of Russian noblewomen he got to know better? And Daniel Boone... You really think they had hot and cold running water out in the Kentucky of 1837?

In fact, it's a provable fact that as soon as "personal hygene" came into the picture, the word "loser" was first introduced into human language.

Ok, enough talk. Throw away that soap. And let's get cracking!

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